“Amber, what happened? You were doing so good writing at least 200 words a day, and your NaNoWriMo posts. Then, after your latest Prince of Slaves chapter, there hasn’t been anything!”
You’re right, dear reader. The 10th was a Sunday and it was tough because we were hanging out with my in-laws and some of their friends, so I had to write in front of them and be a bit less social, but I believe I wrote about 700 words. Then on Monday the 11th, I wrote another about 600 to finish the latest Prince of Slaves chapter.
Then Tuesday through Saturday, I didn’t sit down at the keyboard or pick up a pen at all. You see, as any of you who write know, the hardest part of writing is finding time to write. I know during those six days, there was plenty of time I could have chosen to write, but I didn’t.
Some days, the writing comes easy. It’s exciting and words just flow from my mind to my fingers onto the page. Other days, it’s hard and every word just doesn’t feel quite right. The days when I go back and read what I’ve written previously and am appalled by what is currently on the page. Worse yet, I’ve no idea how to fix it.
The easy out would be to blame pregnancy-brain. Perhaps it does have some merit as I do feel my mind is working overall slower, but I don’t think that’s all there is to it. I have a lot going on and I’m struggling to juggle it all. There is too much for me going on to be able to make it to 25,000 words by the end of the month.
Now, starting today, or restarting today, I have two options. I can either completely quite NaNoWriMo this year, or I can pick it back up. It would be so much easier to just put it to the side and use the excuse that I’m a mother of two about to be three, a wife whose husband works full-time and is a full-time student, I clean houses, I’m the Sunday School teacher and director of the Christmas Musical for our church, and adding aspiring author to that list would be too much.
But the truly rewarding achievements in this life are never easy. You see, I believe God has given me a talent to write well. If I don’t use that talent, that’s my choice, but I won’t get the reward waiting for me. God will bless me if I push through. That doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll ever actually be picked up by a publisher, although that’s my dream. That would be the worst case scenario. But even if that happens, I will know that I have tried and will keep trying. Beyond that, it doesn’t matter what publishers, agents, or editors have to say. My value comes only from my Heavenly Father. I know, at the end of my days, I will hear the words, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”
And it will be entirely undeserved. Whatever good that I trying to do, it’s like filthy rags in God’s eyes, yet He loves us anyway. About two months ago, my three-year-old decided to draw a picture of Daddy. I watched her as she drew the eyes, nose, mustache, mouth, and long legs. To try and sell this piece of artwork would be ridiculous. No one outside of my family would want it, but to me, it was beautiful. This was the first time she drew a person that somewhat resembled a person. I can only imagine that’s what God sees when He looks at our works for Him. Priceless, and a bit goofy, works of art.
That all being said, I’m going to keep writing. If you’ve stopped, my dear reader, I encourage you, do not give up. Sure, you might not get the first place prize, but you will have finished the race, and that’s an achievement in and of itself.
Thank you for your encouragement, and I will pray for you.
In God’s love,
Amber Skye Mileusnich