(God of Peace)
This morning I woke up with my ten-month-old daughter and figured I would be able to get her some food and relax with Jesus. As you can probably guess, that didn’t happen. I did go into the kitchen and started making breakfast. As the eggs were cooking, I washed up the few dishes from the previous night, and then my three-year-old comes up and tells me that the sun’s up. Since then, the baby didn’t want to be happy with anything, pushing most of her food onto the floor, and the three-year-old’s mouth doesn’t stop until she’s sleeping. I then spent the next hour racing after them, raising my voice, begging the baby to stop crying, and my three-year-old to stop picking her up. I was just about in tears when my husband walks into the living room.
At this point I feel like a failure as a wife because he wasn’t able to completely sleep in to ten. We’re switching schedules because, starting today my husband will be working second shift which goes until 2:00 AM. I’m about to cry as I stare at my husband dressed in a dashing button-up and jeans.
“I’m sorry. I tried to keep them quiet, but…”
“It’s alright, dear. I couldn’t sleep anyway.” He took our baby, smiled at her, and she stopped crying nearly right away. “I tried, but I was awake so I prayed for a bit then decided to get up and dress nice. You see, God was telling me…”
And it was at that point that I only started half-listening because I was jealous. He was able to wake up without children pulling at him or crying out his name and got to spend time with Jesus to get energized for the day, relax, spend time preparing his mind, and I didn’t.
“So, how can I help you relax?” He asked me at the end of the conversation. “Would you like calming music? To go into the bedroom alone.”
“I just want to be with Jesus.”
“Then go, I’ve got the kids.”
I get into our room and, after I make the bed, open up my prayer journal.
“God.” I wrote and stopped. I wasn’t quite sure what to say. I took a deep breath, and tried to figure out the emotions that were raging in my heart.
“I’m sorry,” we’re my next words. I had realized that even though I hadn’t gotten time with my God yet, it didn’t give me an excuse to be so short tempered with my children. And I didn’t want to be that way.
I serve the God of Peace. The Holy Spirit, He, the God of Peace lives inside of me. So no matter if I get time with Him before my children start nagging at me or not, I should be able to display that peace. That being said, it is easier to do so when I feel Him close and am listening to what He says. I must read the Holy Bible to remind myself of these facts, which is what it commands us to do. And that, my friends, is where we find YHWH Shalom, the God of peace.
Tomorrow, I expect my girls to wake me up and not give me alone time in the morning. They will be demanding food, attention, diaper changes, and anything else under the sun when I wake up. It sounds stressful, but I have His peace inside of me. I therefore will breathe easy and remember that these two needy girls are gifts that God has given me and are quite adorable. Also, I will probably be listening to Scripture off of my phone as I cook. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, “Be joyful always, pray without ceasing, and give thanks for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” And That is what I’ll put into practice.